As long as relationships have been around, there has been cheating. As long as there has been cheating, there have been couples that have argued about what cheating really is. While some believe that watching pornography is cheating, or that flirting is cheating, others don’t believe this.
Are there boundaries that can be crossed when you have a strong friendship that constitutes emotional cheating? How much does the other person consider cheating? What about relationships that are open relationships? Where does cheating start there?
There is no real definition how to answer what counts as cheating because there is no way to really define a healthy relationship. When speaking to experts such as lawyers, psychologists and more, they try to look at a deeper way of the boundaries and of what they think cheating is. Here are some of the things that they say:
Psychologists and Cheating
According to psychologists, cheating is when there is a third party that violates the boundaries of a relationship between partners that are romantic with each other. This is when one partner makes the decision to become involved with another third party.
Relationship boundaries are important, and they are ways that the partners can learn more about each other and what makes them happy or upset. This allows them to have the same values and desires and also puts on some limitations to the relationship.
It is important to communicate and to find out what each of you don’t want to talk about rather than discussing what you can and cannot do in the relationship. Sometimes couples will feel afraid to open up to their partners and express what they want in the relationship, and this can keep them from giving their all.
When a partner makes a decision to go outside of the relationship to meet their own needs, this often happens because there is a lack of communication in the relationship. They can only move forward when they choose to have a healthy conversation with their partner.
Sometimes though the relationship is more centered on the shame of the other partner cheating and why they are interested in someone else, what that person gives them that their partner doesn’t and why they cheated. This causes issues that should have been talked about before the cheating happened. It is too late when a partner cheats and they cannot talk about things because they feel ashamed of themselves for breaking their relationship bond.
Relationship Counsellor and Cheating
Cheating depends on what the couple wants out of their own personal relationship. One person might see something as cheating that the other person doesn’t see as a problem. One of the biggest things is pornography. While some believe this is cheating, others will watch porn together.
Some might see cheating as a physical relationship with someone else and others might feel more betrayed by their partner having an emotional relationship with someone.
One good rule of cheating is if the partner is keeping a secret or not. If the partner is keeping a secret, then they are most likely cheating. Keeping a secret can mean that you know that your partner wouldn’t accept what you are doing.
Life Coach and Cheating
Cheating is something that is personal. Some might see pornography as cheating while others think that an emotional relationship is cheating. Others believe that just having sex is the only thing that is cheating.
A person has to figure out their own truth for what they believe cheating is. It is hard for someone to look at their values and then determine what is and what isn’t cheating because this can become confusing.
There are people that get caught up in affairs when they go to others to find out what they need and to find out what their values are.
Relationship Advisor and Cheating
People often think that cheating is something that is physical, but this is something that starts with emotions. When a person isn’t happy in a relationship, they can become attracted to other people. This happens when someone needs to feel good, and they meet someone that will help them to have good feelings and thoughts. This doesn’t even have to be something romantic, but it can be emotional or social.
There isn’t always a romantic attraction or a physical attraction, sometimes when there are problems in a marriage or a relationship, one partner can be drawn to someone that is good to them and someone that is positive. Then, as they spend more time with this person, it helps them to not feel as negative as they do with their partner at home.
Emotional cheating will usually start as a crush but as time moves on, the person will become more romantic, and it can lead to physical cheating. This happened because the partner allowed themselves to get close to someone else instead of facing the problems they were dealing with at home.
Once the cheating happens, it is hard to come back and to stop it because it is like you are all the way in this relationship, now. If they begin to pull away from the person, they will accuse you of using them and leading them on.
The best thing to do is to be honest with them as to why you begin to get close to them but now you want to fix things at home. Explain to them that there were a lot of relationship problems and that it made this relationship awkward because their partner at home knows of the cheating.
The biggest way to stop all of this is to communicate. For a relationship to be healthy, there has to be honesty and openness. If someone in the home is unhappy, they need to tell their partner and then both have to compromise and work to make the relationship better. There has to be open communication and the talk of feelings. Never go and talk to someone to feel better because this is the fastest way to lead to cheating.
Polyamorist and Cheating
A polyamorist might define cheating as any kind of violation in the relationship. But the truth is that a couple needs to have their own terms for what cheating is.
A relationship that is monogamous will usually see cheating as having sex with someone else. This can also be an emotional affair that doesn’t need sex to make it a cheat. Cheating is seen as the worse type of thing that someone could do to their partner.
Cheating is hurtful in the relationship and there has to be a lot of time and effort put in to make the relationship healed and to allow the partner to forgive or the relationship will come to an end. The problem with this is that being rude to one another, sexual incompatibility or being unhappy have no betrayal in the eyes of the relationship.
This isn’t how all relationships are and some people can work out the terms of the relationship and decide what they think is cheating and what isn’t. But in a relationship that is not monogamous, you have to decide what is unforgivable to you. This is something that is specific to each kind of relationship and what each person in the relationship has decided.
Some people believe that there doesn’t have to be cheating to end a relationship but there just has to be lines that aren’t crossed such as disrespect and having intolerant behaviors.
Relationship Coach and Cheating
Our culture usually sees cheating as something that is physical, sexual or emotional. But the problem is that there is no real definition of this and that it varies from relationship to relationship. We get to decide what is okay in a relationship and what isn’t.
This is probably things picked up from people that we grew up with or what the media has told us. The problem is that there has to be a conversation because there is too much assumption when it comes to what infidelity is.
You might be fine with your partner having deep and emotional friendships with other people or you might be okay if you are friends with other guys but having online relationships might be a no-no.
There has to be boundaries in all relationships and the best way to look at it is to make sure that you have integrity and that you make the decision together. This allows there to be no questions asked and to know exactly what is cheating and what isn’t.
A definition of polyamory is that those that are in non-monogamous relationships, as long as the partner knows it’s happening, then its okay. It becomes cheating when the partner doesn’t know.
Divorce Lawyer and Cheating
There are two things that have to do with cheating, and this is affection and alienation without the partner consenting and spending money without the partner consenting. If someone is spending emotional time with someone instead of their partner and the partner is upset, you are cheating. With no fault divorces, there is an elimination of the discussion over who caused the relationship to fail.
The law has a lot of opinions when it comes to money because money is something that can be counted. When partners get mad at one another they often make it about money. When you spend money that is both yours and your partners without permission, you are cheating. This means you have taken something that belongs to both of you and used it for yourself. And, if you have spent this money on someone else besides yourself or your partner then this is worse and can mean that you value that person more than you do the person you are with.
Money and relationships have to do with betrayal. If someone feels betrayed that the trust is broken, then it can feel like cheating. Depending on how far you can go with your infidelity deepens on what kind of relationship that you have, until it gets to court and then the lawyers are the ones that come out on top.