It’s a feeling no woman ever wants to have. That gut feeling that something isn’t right with her man. It just sits in your stomach and you just know he’s cheating.
The problem with this is there is no evidence. You can’t approach him with accusations without evidence because that would make you appear like a crazed lunatic. Even so, you are feeling something isn’t right and you can’t deal with it.
The Reality of Intuition
Everyone has some level of instinct and women tend to have more than men. No one knows if it’s because of the gender, the way the female brain works, or if women just pay more attention to their spiritual side. However, many women swear by their instincts.
The problem is that some women, particularly at certain stages of a relationship, can feel insecure and that could produce a “false flag” on your partner’s fidelity. These times could be when the relationship is new, while you were pregnant or after you have a baby, when one of you advances in your career, or when you have been married about seven years, which is commonly called the seven-year itch.
Here are four ways to discern whether your feelings are true intuition or your insecurities.
Determine if you have these types of feelings regularly in other relationships. Did you accuse your partners and how did that end?
Think of your intuition’s track record. List how many times you have been correct with your intuition and how many times you have been wrong. If your intuition is always on track with reality, you may have something to worry about.
Identify your personality
Understanding your issues is important as it plays a role in how you perceive things. Character qualities like having a suspicious nature, ongoing jealousy, need of attention, or feeling like the relationship is one-sided with you loving him more than they love you is going to bring out ideas of cheating even when there isn’t any.
Consider actual evidence
You must, for a moment, put your intuition aside and look at the reality of the situation. This includes changes in his habits and mannerism, odd events, and distancing. Some real clues to cheating are
If he stays away from home more than he is at home:
- If he has verbally and emotionally distanced himself from you.
- If he states that he needs “me time” away from you.
- If he constantly tells you that you are pressuring him or nagging him.
- If he no longer is interested in sex with you.
- If there are strange phone calls that he is secretive about if he states he is going out with friends and doesn’t want you to come, if he suddenly starts changing his looks, wants to work out more, buys new underwear or wants to go on a sexual enhancing supplement or medication.
- All of these things are possible evidence that he either is cheating or is thinking about cheating. Having a list of things that need explaining will help when you sit down and talk to him because he can’t just say it’s your imagination since you first based your suspicion on intuition.
Crafty women can gather other evidence legally. For instance, you can check the numbers he is calling and even his text messages if you are on the same cell phone plan. Just access the bill online. You can also use the find your phone feature to check his whereabouts if you think he is somewhere he isn’t supposed to be. He doesn’t need to know you are doing these things. If it turns out he is innocent, you can quietly put your fears to rest without involving him. If he isn’t, you can plot your next move.
Having a Conversation
Either way, it turns out, there will need to be a conversation because something is wrong in your relationship if you are thinking this way. Whether it is your insecurity, his change of habits and feelings, or something more, you two need to talk about what is going on and deal with it.
Ignoring the nagging feeling will not go away even if he isn’t cheating. Something will continue to be wrong and you could react badly based on your intuition if it isn’t discussed. That behavior could lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where he ends up cheating.
The suggestion to check for actual evidence while putting aside intuition is pragmatic. However, it raises ethical concerns about privacy.
I agree, privacy is an important aspect of any relationship. Balancing intuition with respect for the partner’s privacy is crucial.
The suggestion to document any observable changes in behavior is sensible. It allows for a more rational discussion based on facts.
While documenting behavior is useful, it’s also important to approach the situation with an open mind to avoid misunderstandings.
Yes, having a list of specific instances can help in addressing the issue more effectively during a conversation.
The article provides a comprehensive approach to discerning intuition from insecurity. It’s important to evaluate one’s own feelings carefully and look for concrete evidence before making any accusations.
I appreciate the emphasis on self-assessment and understanding one’s personality traits. This introspective approach can help in clarifying whether the concerns are valid or not.
Highlighting the need for a conversation regardless of the outcome is a constructive point. Communication is key to resolving underlying issues in the relationship.